Last week's episode opens with a slam ball montage. I (tiny) am still confused as to how Owen magically became part of this sport. Nathan and Owen's team is called The Slashers which sounds like a weird
Baby Jamie schools Sam and then is terrified by the game of slam ball.
And Jamie tells Sam that his daddy told him it was fine to date. The child is FIVE.

Meanwhile, Lucas, hiding under the bleachers kinda like Christian Slater in Heathers discovers something interesting about his book that he previously believed was a failure.

Mouth + Gigi, awkward, and Mouth talking about needing to digitize some footage. Kate: "I bet they're going to digitize some footage."
Gigi is a bitch!

Nathan gets schooled by his coach who looks like a football player instead of a basketball coach.

Turns out the interesting news is about Lucas' first book, all about Peyton. Apparently someone wants to buy the film rights.

After Sam's wheelchair comment, Hayley goes deep in thought.

btw how great is it that James and Sophia are dating? Yeah, totally great.

Hayley is reading b. davis magazine. This show needs to find a better makeup artist. The bruises on this show are shameful.

Petyon's nails are still creepy, pointy and gross. Peyton is an idiot. Also Austin Nichols comes in this episode. word.

I hate Lupus.

Slunt? I guess that's what makes this show safe for network television.

Jamie declares Sam as his "favorite girl."

Owen is a poor mans, obese Greg Grunburg.

Baby Jamie asks to sleep over at Aunt Brooke's where Sam lives.

Julian Baker, creepy Austin Nichols, instrested in optioning Lucas' book. Creepy faux Lucas.
Not in a "Peyton Stalker" sort of way.

"I'd probably fuck him sober, and that's saying a lot." - A.

"they should make out." -t
"I'd watch that."-k
"I'd totally watch that." -a

What is with the Military shit? Where did THIS come from?!
Apparently Peyton missed her brother, who she never talks about.

Gigi is really pushing it. Sexy, Hot Piece of Ass. Why does she keep making passes at Mouth?! Maybe she's trying to push for a threesome with him and Milicent.

"Is it weird that my first thought was Tom Cruise?" -k re: who plays Nathan in the movie.

PATCHES!!!!!!
Also a nice little tidbit about the age of actors playing high school students. Nice work Mark Schwaan.

"No one's dream was ever Slam Ball." -k

and of course Lucas didn't even THINK about Brooke.

Wait, so Peyton and her half brother have the same father? I thought they had the same mother?

Everybody still misses Quentin, even Chester.

And then a stab at the CW...what?

Gigi is kind of a slut. Nathan words of wisdom "Millie's a rockstar, don't screw that up."

Owen wants to be hooked up with Brooke so he asks Nathan for help.

Best moment of the episdoe: Owen popping his head around the door at Brooke's .

Sam mentions Goonies, Jamie has no idea what that is, and then Sam brings up horrible memories for Jamie. Then she totally corrupts him to take him to a party to give him moonshine. BABY JAMIE IS FIVE!!!!

Peyton continues to somewhat insult her half brother.

Peyton needs to have her hair did.

Now Peyton wants to do a USO show.

Does Lucas own any shirts that aren't plaid? I am so creeped out by Lucas.

Hayley wants Ellen Page to play her? Say what?

"I'm so inside this story..." that's what she said?

Julian wants Lucas to write the screenplay.
We think Julian is crazy, creepy in love with Peyton.

"Sounds like something on the Muppet Show" -k re: Hayley's new song

Way to go Sam, throwing a skater party (?)
BABY JAMIE WITH GLOWSTICKS!!
"why does everyone look like a reject from a Pharell video?"

Peyton's wedding dress, totally tie dyed and being worn by some dude?! on a skateboard.

Is six months long enough to break up Lupus?

"turn over and bone her!"

And, we were right. Julian is a creepy ex (?) who is totally in love with Peyton.