Child Protective Services

We're going to call Jack Daniels Vodka Tonic.

WTF Peyton?! Are you gonna have like sextuplets?!

What does Sam know about dates??

Why are Hayley and Nathan so creepy?

Wait, so Peyton is implying that Brooke will never have a baby?! "I know you wanted to have the baby..." THE baby? Like there's only one?!

Mouth! You are so mean!

Mia writes shitty music.

OMG Stephen Colletti is so fat.

He looks like a poor man's Joey Tribiani.

Kate Voegele is not smooth nor a good actress.

Brooke just threw a box of clothes at Peyton, clearly trying to kill her unborn demon spawn.

"That's really hard to hear for historical reasons..."

A. will break his back!

I hate Peyton.

Uh oh, Millie's about to get bitch slapped.

WAIT, this episode is directed by CMM!? Oh, God.

Is CMM an even worse actor now that he's directing??

It's your fault Mouth!! It's yoooooooour fault!!

Why are they sleeping in CMM and Peyton's bed??

Good work on calling Peyton out on her freakazoidness.

WHAT THE FUCK...THAT ISN'T EVEN THE ACTUAL MUSIC, IT'S KARAOKE!!

For the record, we all heard "God, I love those tits." Not "God, I love first dates."

Oh, Vodka Tonic...so sad.

This is so awkward. The bebes are way better.

Mark Schwann, you're so emo.

YES!!! A CHRIS KELLER SHOUT-OUT!!!

GOD DAMNIT, I HATE PEYTON AND HER CREEPY FUCKIN "BABY DADDY" TALK.

There's no "off" button on Travis!!

God, Julian is just as annoying as Peyton. "What was this!?"

Peyton is not going to be a superhero. She is going be the worst mother EVER.

"I hope their kids are going to be enemies!!"

Thank GOD, Van der Beek is back! This man is pure talent.

mouthing off.

I once saw Mouth at a Tyler Hilton show. He is so insanely short, it's mind-boggling. He also has a large jaw.

I'd hit it.

Why Nathan and Hayley need to bang more

1) Because Baby Jamie is adorable (they should have another Baby Jamie).
2) Because they are married.
3) Because they're hot. (OK, Nathan is hot and probably looks good naked. We're not so sure about Hayley.)
4) Because we're tired for Lupus banging.
5) Because capes are awesome.
6) Hayley needs to stop whining about music and just bone Nathan already.
7) Baby Jamie got "six girls digits."
8) Because they both spend too much time sleeping with their child. They are ADULTS.

Sub topic: Why Mouth is our new favorite character:

1) Millicent is the best person on this show.
2) The return of Gigi was pretty amazing (so she's bi now? So much for purity)
3) He's really muscular now (working out much?)
4) He boned a cougar.
5) He lives with Skills, Junk, Dump Truck and Boner (wait, wasn't Boner on Growing Pains?!!)


Sub topic 2: Why we hate Lupus or Peycus

1) Peyton is the most annoying, self centered character on this show.
2) Peyton's nails are disgusting.
3) Lucas is too fucking emo.
4) Peyton is the worst best friend in the world.
5) Lindsey was way better.
6) Peyton likes The Cure.
7) Lucas hates The Cure.
8) Why didn't Peyton know that Lucas hates The Cure?!
9) Why didn't Peyton know that Lucas' favorite breakfast is French Toast?!